jessie mahne
Dabbling in comedy, Muay Thai & communication-related jorbs until one of them kills me.

The first step to getting started…


Note:

I am NOT an expert! The following information is based off of personal experience. Please, use this advice as tips, motivation, and a foundation for yourself!

Thanks for visiting!

———-

So, you’re thinking about getting your ass into gear? EXCELLENT! But, you have ZERO motivation and NO idea what the EF you’re doing? CRAP!!

Don’t worry. That’s 100% normal.

In fact, according to CNN.com/Health:

“Seven out of 10 American adults don’t exercise regularly despite the proven health benefits…”

Therefore, if you workout “regularly,” you are pretty unique!!

CONGRATS.

biceps_flex_poster-p228681637388140936trma_400But, what means “regularly?” I’ve decided that if you workout at least three days a week for 45 minutes each session, you can proudly say you “workout regularly,” followed by slamming a protein shake.

That’s not that bad then, right? You can EASILY do at least three days a week!

Okay, so now you know that you ONLY have to do two hours and 15 minutes of exercise A WEEK in order to be a badass… but what about the actual EXERCISE part? What is best for you to do?

That’s where I think I can help!!

———-

The workout:

THE WORKOUT

This is something I MUST stress: START SMALL AND WORK YOUR WAY UP TO BIG. You can’t start by running 10 miles at 7mph on a treadmill and expect to survive. Nor can you benchpress 255lbs right off the bat. Seriously.

ALSO, just because you’re a man, doesn’t mean you should be lifting more than that incredibly in-shape woman, just for the fact that she’s a girl. And ladies, being a broad isn’t an excuse to only lift 5lbers and barely break a sweat.

Who cares what others think of you!  You are exercising for YOU, and no one else… I mean, besides that God-sent beauty you see EVERY day coming out of Outpost… hot damn.

start small

So, once again: START SMALL AND WORK YOUR WAY UP TO BIG.

———-

cardioCardio

The advice to start small works with every sort of workout, especially when it comes to cardio.

Firstly, cardio literally means “the heart.” This sort of exercise is meant to strengthen your heart. Obviously in the process, you will burn calories and will benefit you, but most importantly, cardio will get you ready for every other workout yet to come in your life; you need a healthy and strong heart in order to successfully perform ANYTHING.

I’m gonna give you a 4 week time-frame example of what building up your cardio would look like:

Week One:

Sunday: OFF

Monday:   warm-up = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

4mph @ 4% incline for 30 minutes

cool-down = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

Tuesday:   OFF

Wednesday: repeat Monday

Thursday: OFF

Friday: repeat Monday

Saturday: repeat Monday

Week Two:

Sunday: OFF

Monday:   warm-up = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

4.5mph @ 4% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 5% incline for 20 minutes

4.5mph @ 5% incline for 5 minutes

cool-down= 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

Tuesday: OFF

Wednesday: repeat Monday

Thursday: OFF

Friday: repeat Monday

Saturday: repeat Monday

Week Three:

Sunday: OFF

Monday:   warm-up = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

4.5mph @ 4% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 5% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 6% incline for 10 minutes

4mph @ 5% incline for 5 minutes

4.5mph @ 4% incline for 5 minutes

cool-down = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

Tuesday: OFF

Wednesday: repeat Monday

Thursday: OFF

Friday: repeat Monday

Saturday: repeat Monday

Week Four:

Sunday: OFF

Monday:   warm-up = 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

4.5mph @ 4% incline for 3 minutes

4mph @ 5% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 6% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 7% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 6% incline for 5 minutes

4mph @ 5% incline for 5 minutes

4.5pmh @ 4% incline for 2 minutes

cool-down= 3mph @ 3% incline for 1 minute

Tuesday: OFF

Wednesday: repeat Monday

Thursday: OFF

Friday: repeat Monday

Saturday: repeat Monday

As you can see, the incline % increases as the weeks go on.  Really, the only thing that matters for building endurance and strength is the amount of resistance added to the exercise.  Speed doesn’t matter too much, until you get to interval training, which will come later in your workout!!

I hope this helps you get a jump start on your workout plan!! Let me know your thoughts!

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5 Responses to “The first step to getting started…”

  1. HEY DUDE
    Funny that you post this now because I just started working out regularly!! Haha! I go 3-4 times a week, and it’s great! I do about 45 minutes of cardio and then about 20-25 minutes of weights/abs and shit. I feel so great every time I go, it literally inspires me to even eat better.
    SHIT YES!!!

    • That is awesome!! I’m so glad that you’re getting that shit going and LOVING IT. Pretty soon, you’ll become a raging meathead and won’t want to KILL YOURSELF. You better keep me updated on your progress and let me know if you need any help!!

      • Hells yes MAN! I’m already down in weight and my body no longer jiggles when I walk. IT IS AWESOME haha. I’ll definitely keep your ass updated. I’m motivated as fuck to be as skinny as I was in December. I do love it. Makes me feel more energetic and happy too.

  2. hey hey hey you big giant beverage. Dane Cook is funny. i know you dont like him, even though i have no idea how you dont htink hes funny. But i think hes funny and if i think so that means he is! lol love you

  3. Hey this is really nice, Jess! I can aslo imagine how incredibly helpful this can be to those interested in health and comedy. It is very well articulated by you, however I will continue to encourage your lack in curse word usage. Best Wishes!


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